It took me well over an hour to drive to the first of the candidate cafes. It was pretty busy. I couldn't see any sign of Kim, so I decided to sit down and order a coffee. I felt I needed it anyway. After ten minutes there was still no sign of her, so I slugged down my coffee and waved to waitress. As I paid, I chanced my arm.
"No Kim today," I asked. She screwed up her face in incomprehension. "Kim?" I repeated.
"Don't know her," she replied.
Back to to the car and on to the next place. Same story. On to the third place. Same story again. I've now had three cups of coffee and am getting a little frustrated. I started to wonder whether John has been stringing me along.
Getting parked for the fourth place was a nightmare. By the time I got to the cafe, I am proper narked and ratty. But I retain some presence of mind and know that I am not going to be able to charm the knickers off Kim in this state. I go back to the car, sit and take long, deep breaths.
Composed but not at my best, I return to the cafe. I'm literally sick of Coffee. I look around anxiously. Still no Kim. When the waiter comes to ask me for my order, I blurt out, "does Kim work here?" I realise, as I said it, that if the answer is yes, then plan A is fucked because I have revealed I know who she is.
"'Fraid not," says the waiter.I am relieved. "What can I get you?"
"Sorry, I was looking for and old friend, " I say. "I don't wish to be rude but is there another cafe around here?"
He laughed. "No problem. The only other one I know is in the High Street."
What the fuck? "Err, isn't this the High Street?" I ask him?
"Only since the stupid council renamed it as part of their stupid regeneration plan. The original High Street is around the corner, near the bus garage. They renamed it Garage Street. Very creative. Locals still call it the High Street."
"Right," I said, slowly drawing the word out. "Well thanks, I appreciate it." My calm returning, I looked at the menu board and dropped the cost of a coffee onto the table as a thank guy. The guy looked at me as if I was an idiot and shrugged.
Isn't it funny? A minute before I was annoyed because I didn't find what I expected. But now that the expectation was restored, I was really happy. It's like being neutral about something you own until you lose it. Then you get it back and are all happy. Anyway, I digress.
I walked towards the glass door of the fifth cafe with a spring in my step. Coming towards me from inside was Kim. She reached up to a sign, hanging on the inside of the door by a chain. It said 'Open' and I knew what the other side. I clasped my hands together in front of me and slowly mouth the word "please." And then, "Coffee". As if I fucking needed it! She look at me with a slight smile. I buckled my knees as if I was going to kneel and beg. "Please," I mouthed again.
This time she laughed and opened the door. "I'm really sorry," she said, "breakfast rush is over and we are closing for thirty minutes."
I made a pained expression.
"There's another cafe round in the High Street," she said.
I was about to object but caught myself and said, "but waitresses are not as good looking around there," smarming it up big time. I nearly said 'not as sexy' but didn't want to push my luck at this early stage. Anyway she blushed but I could tell you was pleased.
"Sorry," she said, turning the sign.
"No worries," I said with a cheesy smile.
Things had not quite gone as I planned but the overall outcome could not have been better. I had made her smile. She was will remember me when I come back tomorrow. And then the day after. And the day after. And the day after that. I will become her favourite, charming customer.
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