I called Kim this morning, on her mobile, to get her through the guilt that was inevitable after yesterday. She said she was fine but I could tell she was on edge and unsure of what to say or do. I reiterated that I really liked her and would like to see her again.
"I would really like to," she said, "but it's just not fair to John. I don't want to lie to him."
"Well maybe you shouldn't," I said.
"What do you mean."
"I mean, maybe he wouldn't mind?" I said. Silence. .
Of course, I didn't expect her to ask John if he minded. I did know, however, from talking to John, that the general topic had come a few times. John's urges were too strong and deep-seated, to stay buried forever. Unfortunately, his ham-fisted attempts to explain himself always ended in Kim's tears. After that, his shame meant that John would bury his desires for a few years. But the pressure inside him would build up again and erupted into the open, as it had done when I came across him. My purpose was simply to help her join the dots in her mind.
"I have a present for you," I said, to break the silence.
"Oh, really! she said," as if she had just woken up, "what is it?"
"Well, actually, two presents," I said. "Both are books I think you will really like."
"That's a really kind thought but..."
"Did you enjoy yesterday," I asked.
"Yes, much."
"Then meet me for lunch on Thursday, to collect your presents. And that will be it. I'll never bother you again if you don't want me to," I said.
"I'll think about it."
"OK, I'll wait for you at the same place, the same time on Thursday. Call me if you are not going to make it."
She agreed, taking responsibility for the next step. If she does nothing, we meet. I know she wouldn't just not turn up. To avoid the meeting, she will have to make contact and say no. The easiest thing to do is to meet and that's what I think she will do. The path of least resistance.
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