Full English

Although I arrived early, the cafe was busy. The customers were mostly men, mostly middle-aged and mostly, it seemed, manual workers. There was a smattering of blokes in their early twenties, mixed in with the older guys. There were a couple of old biddies sitting alone. I was intrigued to see how Kim interacted with the men.

She was busy when I walked in and didn't see me sit down at a table. Her mousy brown hair was pulled back tight but was not long enough for a pony tail. If she was wearing make-up, it didn't show. And she was wearing a shapeless blue overall, the like of which I hadn't seen since school dinners. Needless to say, she wore flat brown shoes. I had been wondering whether she might be working at the cafe to meet men but it was pretty obvious that she had no interest in them or vice versa.

I pretended to be reading the paper and only looked up when I sensed her presence hovering over me.

"Made it in time today then?" she said with soft, but genuine looking, smile.

I returned the smile and simply said, "Full English, please." Even if she hadn't seen me the day before, I would have been conspicuous. I was the only person wearing a suit and rather good one at that. Not flash but well-cut. And good sensible, lace-up, City shoes with no funny square or pointy toes.

From then on, I was simply warm, friendly and courteous. Lot's of "pleases" and "thank-you's" - a nice contrast compared to her usual ill-bred customers. When I paid, I left a generous tip. I was, dear reader, the complete gentleman.

And that was that. Mission accomplished. My apologies if I have disappointed the prurient amongst you. I hope you were not expecting me to seduce her over the Full English and be rutting her hard, on all fours, before the morning was over? A nice image, i grant you it will take a little time and patience. But stick around and you will not be disappointed. That said, you might be shocked and stay away when you realise what I have in mind for her. And him, of course.